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These are the causes of marriage problems that tend to pop up after 10 years together. If you recognize any, take it as a sign you should address them sooner rather than later.
So you’ve made it past the proverbial seven-year itch in your marriage. Congratulations! While we wish we could tell you it’s smooth sailing from here on out, unfortunately that’s just not so.
Once you’ve hit the 10-year mark and the honeymoon phase is but a distant memory, certain marital issues are more likely to crop up. We asked therapists to share the problems to look out for when you’re approaching a decade of marriage and how to deal with them:
1. You start feeling more like roommates than romantic partners.
Couples who are in it for the long haul will tell you that keeping the spark alive does, inevitably, require some effort. If both partners aren’t intentional about keeping their romantic connection strong ― whether that’s through habits like regular date nights, thoughtful little gestures or couples counseling ― they may end up drifting into roommate territory.
“After a decade together, turning into roommates becomes a big risk as partners can slowly over the years take their focus off of each other and give all of their attention to dealing with day-to-day life,” Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost. “Couples can easily turn into partners in managing a family or life, rather than partners in love.”
2. You’ve become bored with your life together.
In marriage, it’s unrealistic to expect each day to be some sort of magical, butterfly-inducing fairy tale. That said, you shouldn’t just resign yourselves to a life full of blah either. Boredom in a marriage is usually a sign that you and your partner have started taking each other ― and the relationship ― for granted, said psychotherapist Tina Tessina.
“Perhaps your activities have become too routine or you are avoiding facing a problem,” she said. “Counter the boredom by taking necessary risks ― for example, have that scary discussion about sex, aging, your in-laws, or dare to suggest a change in your routine.”