Domestic Violence, A Shared Story of Challenge

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The following is one story about spousal abuse. It is written as a fictional reality to give our readers, who may be victims, themselves, an objective point-of-view.

There’s A Problem With My Husband Stan!

Stan and I have been married for 19 years. And we have two beautiful twin teenage children, a boy and a girl, Reed and Reece. Both are good students and will be graduating in one year. Their graduating and going off to college will leave me alone and vulnerable to the temper tantrums of my husband Stan.

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I work a nine to five job while mothering my two children, cooking cleaning and caring for my husband. Does he ever hit me? No, but he really flies off the handle. For instance: I overslept a couple of mornings leaving Stan without coffee and breakfast. Stan screamed, yelled, threw things all around and breaking them. Our neighbors were disturbed and called the police. Here is another occasion: due to an emetgency meeting at my job, I was late coming home to prepare Stan’s dinner. As a result, Stan deliberately caused the stove and refrigerator to be inoperable. It cost us a good sum of money to have both the stove and the refrigrrator repaired.

So… you all are wondering – “Why don’t you leave that mad man”? My response: I just may do that, AND SOON!

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97 thoughts on “Domestic Violence, A Shared Story of Challenge

  1. I don’t really understand what this is suppose to be… but whatever it is…. there are enough real stories, there are more than enough woman who carry real scars that I do not believe your essay is helpful. But thank you for trying.

    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading. The initial story is not a story that is real but a “shared” fiction that prompts real stories and answers to abuses by way of feedback and comments. I believe the sharer did a wonderful job and touched on many abusive, life circumstances. Well wishes to you Jennymckinny!

    2. I think that you’re trying to do a good thing by spreading awareness. I also believe that speaking about it as one would speak about the weather is a disservice to the wounded. The terror and trauma that happens in homes across the world is akin to war. And until we start treating it like the crime against humanity that it is, it will not get better.

    3. Even though the share is written as fictional, we cannot escape the realities that are within its contexts. It us definitely a crime! And abused often start of mild, a touch and go threat as in this share. It saddens my heart about how widespread the occurrences are. Abuse is a very, extremely serious matter! One good thing is that our share has prompted many helpful links for those who are being abused. You are right, domestic abuse is akin to war. At this time, Satan is extremely busy on the front of all evil and chaos in the world. 😔

    4. I know I’m ignorant when it comes to technology, but the only thing that I see that could be close to what you’re seeing is the photo of a finger tip holding a mustard seed. However, I will keep pursuing it because that would absolutely be inappropriate. Sorry for any offense and thank you for letting me know.

  2. We say they will change and this is possibly just a phase but I don’t believe in that at all! Once a woman sees this type of behaviour, she needs to picture of her husband threw an object at her. What if he did and the object gave her an injury? Everyone has anger sometimes but a wise person knows how to control this.

    Some men think they can have control over the household with abusive acts like this. They think they can place fear in their wives so that the wife can obey them. Even if it causes more aggravation, it is sometimes good to stand up and firmly tell them that if this happens one more time then you will leave. If he does it again then honestly, the best thing to do is leave and this will teach him a lesson. He will not have a personal cook or personal cleaner anymore and will learn the hard way! He will surely come back to you and seek forgiveness but it is up to you if you are willing to give it another chance.

    1. One can never tell where violence will go during these critical times. The world is corrupt, so are individual people. Corruption is then taken into the homes as stress and irritabilities. Our world, it’s people and families need to commit to God! And, no woman, man, nor child should succumb to physical or mental abuses.

  3. The story does a good job showing that abuse does not have to include hitting or obvious acute injury. The stress of living with these rages can do significant physical damage over time. I hope people in abusive relationships can leave safely by creating a plan with trustworthy support and keeping the plan and safe place secret from the abuser.

    1. Thank you JoAnna for your constructive reply. I see no other recourse but to leave an unhealthy relationship as this one. Discretion would definitely be a smart move. Have a radiant day, JoAnna!☀️💫

    1. Good Day Swabby! The name Stan is a pretty common one with me and I could only guess that the name Stan and situation in the domestic violence share could only be coincidental to your own experience. Psychic stuff happens too! 🤔

  4. There is anger management today for domestic violence. Troubling when the entire world needs anger management.:(

    1. Good day JoAnna! You are right, overcoming anger can be a job, especially during these uncertain times, when anger meets another form of anger, often, and that triggers more anger. People take
      their anger from home to the work place and vice-versa. What a sad reality.😞

    2. Yes, it is complicated and sad. Sometimes anger covers up other emotions like fear or sadness. It’s a lot of work to get at the underlying feelings and learn new ways to cope, but anything is possible.

    3. Well covered, JoAnna! Another good thing is that thru blogging we are discussing the horrors and in doing so,we are helping ourselves and others. Thank you again for your sincere feedback. 💫💗Have an enjoyable and relaxing weekend!💗💫

    4. Time is rolling around faster than ever! Hope that your weekending and week are filled with amazing love and blessings, JoAnna! A bouquet of Hugs to you!♥️💐🌺💐🌺♥️

  5. Oh dear, first of all, it’s very brave of you to share this. Second, I hope you find the courage to leave soon before he finds the audacity to hurt you again — verbally or physically. Also, it would help if you look for professional help (psychological and police back-up).

    You don’t have to walk on eggshells all your life… You and your children deserve a happy and peaceful life.

    I’ve been there for 6 yrs with my ex-bf. Wz broke-up in late 2017 and now, I couldn’t be happier. Life’s so much better without him… But I do understand you perfectly why it’s so hard to leave.

    Hope you find the courage soon, we’re here for you!!! 🤗

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. Your feedback here, is an encouragement for those who are currently experiencing spousal abuse! Blessings Peace Love and Hugs Camille!❤️❤️❤️

    1. Thank you for reacting Dolly.

      I would not waste my time pacifying a continual threat. First I must love myself and preserve myself. Example

      Spousal abuse is a major problem in our world today. Maybe it is due to drug usage, non-moderate lifestyles… or who knows(?). The results continue to inflame family, as an institution. Abuse goes beyond spousal. Children within families suffering with marital abuse, take their grievances into schools and society by rebelling and acting out. I have heard of young abused wives killing their abusive husbands and still having to do time. I have heard of explosive sexual behaviors. I say those who are being abused should run for their lives.

    2. I completely agree with you darling, and I have spent years leading a school for severely emotionally disabled children, most of whom came from abusive situations at home. I am perhaps more aware of this than many others. Yet, I would venture that 1) if he has always acted like this and nothing has been done about it, he perceives it as a norm and would be very surprised when he is told that it isn’t, and 2) if it is a recent development, there might be something that only a specialist can recognize and treat.
      I wish you the best of luck making the right decision!

    3. Fortunately Dolly, this one is not my biography. But it is the biography of women made vulnerable or who became vulnerable. Sadly for the most part, stay-at-home moms dependent upon their husbands to bring home the bacon, have been statistical victims. And with that dependency, they are afraid to leave because they have little or no income.

    4. Very true (I assumed it was not your personal story, darling!), and a very important discussion. I don’t know whether there are that many stay-at-home moms any more, though.

    5. But, I do know lots of stories. I am sure that there are many stay-at-home moms, but in a different context with technology. The new term I assume would be, stay at home moms who work from home. So with the work, their should be some financial independence. Being creatures of bonding habits, we can often, fail to let go. 😞

    6. Excellent point about bonding habits, especially regarding women. As Dr Deborah Tannen’s and other psychologists’ research indicates, women relate, while men compete. And once a woman is used to relating to one person, even when that relationship is totally dysfunctional or abusive, it’s hard to break off.

    7. There is a saying that that positives always attract the negative (a balance, I suppose). If this is true, then the abuser and the abused obviously share the same polarity of negativity… a cause of burnout (end of the rope for both). 🤔💕☕️☕️

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